The Golfing Nun…

A nun walks into Mother Superior’s office and plunks

down into a chair; she lets out a sigh heavy with frustration.

‘What troubles you, Sister?’ asked the Mother Superior, ‘I

thought this was the day you spent with your family.’

‘It was,’ sighed the Sister. ‘And I went to play golf with

my brother.We try to play golf as often as we can.You know

I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ.’

‘I seem to recall that,’ the Mother Superior agreed. ‘So I

take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?’

‘Far from it,’ snorted the Sister. ‘In fact, I even took

the Lord’s name in vain today!’

‘Goodness, Sister!’ gasped the Mother Superior, astonished.

‘You must tell me all about it!’

‘Well, we were on the fifth tee…and this hole is a

monster, 520 yard Par 5, with a nasty dogleg left and a hidden

green…and I hit the drive of my life. I creamed it.The sweetest

swing I ever made.And it’s flying straight and true, right along

the line I wanted…and it hits a bird in mid-flight not 100 yards

off the tee!’

‘Oh my!’ commiserated the Mother.’How unfortunate!But

surely that didn’t make you blaspheme, Sister!’

‘No, that wasn’t it,’ admitted Sister. ‘While I was still

trying to fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the

woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!’

‘Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!’ sympathized the


‘But I didn’t, Mother!’ sobbed the Sister.’And I was so

proud of myself! And while I was pondering whether

this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and

grabs the squirrel and flies off, with my ball still clutched in his

‘So that’s when you cursed,’ said the Mother with a knowing smile.

‘Nope, that wasn’t it either,’ cried the Sister, anguished,

‘because as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel

started struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the

green, and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18

inches from the cup!’

Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms

across her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said…

‘You missed the f@cking putt, didn’t you?’

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